Rapport between my muse and I has grown a lot as we have gotten to know each other. I frequently recall a time during one of our first sessions in this arrangement, when I mentioned out loud that we don't know anything about each other. Although she is very cultured, I had assumed she was a pretty face with posing talents, like so many others, but her interests and aspirations set her apart.
I like how uncomfortable her physique makes other people, other women. Some will say that they don't find her attractive, as if there is something wrong with me for choosing and pursuing her for my creative outlet, while other women will become noticeably uneasy and distracted and say irrelevant things about the photo or the model. As I have been a visual artist for the majority of my life and worked with models for some time, typical critique is limited to 'nice photo' or perhaps something about the compositional aspects, or genuine curiosity about how a particular person is a model at all, but with my subject the critique is very very different. If she actually was not visually attractive or did not have symmetry or proportions that people desire, nobody would say anything about her nor would they self reflect about unattainable ideals they've taught themselves to ignore and instead would focus on her participation as my subject and possibly critique her pose or facial expression. I like seeing or hearing the assumptions people make about her character - how they expect to be treated by her - and being genuinely surprised when they meet her. This I really enjoy as it validates my decisions.
She is oblivious to much of this, and I have gathered that her mom and aunt have been treated with favor by men also, during their prime. I understand that physical attraction which polarizes people is more powerful than being generally attractive, where one group likes a look a lot and another group does not at all.
I rely on her and her creative talents, and I feel cured of my alienation from the visual arts. I feel that it would be a waste of my perspective on the world if I wasn't creating or portraying it in ways others would completely miss. My career does continue to attempt to pull me further away from visually representations of my thoughts, and the model muse continues to be a constant in my life that reduces this variance. She helps me only with the visual arts and by introducing just enough entropy to never replicate something again by anyone else. I absolutely adore her for this aspect and so our adventure into the experimental and surreal continues.